1. When your significant other doesn't text you back for 5 days they are either
b) Don't want to talk to you
c) All of the above
Buy ice cream.
2. When your SO(significant other) says, "I don't care if you kiss other people. Do whatever you want." They DON'T mean it literally.
2. When you dress up for a lesbian event don't wear a dress. Unless you want to die alone. Or you are Brandy and you refuse to change your dress code to fit into a heteronormative paradym reversal.
Confused about what that means?
Stick with the dress. You go girl.
3. Ha! There isn't a #3. Gotcha.
4. Waiting exactly three days to call someone back is lame. You like them? Call them. Or give their number to the homeless guy down the street. Doesn't bother me either way. I never answer my phone.
Ask my Mom.
5. When you are sad go to the gym. Still sad? Go more.
6. REALLY sad? Go to the bar.
7. Can't take it anymore, move provinces!
9. Men's razors. They make that sh** properly. None of this pink razor burn nonsense.
10. When you give up on love buy a dog(or 9 kittens). Worked for me. I had a girlfriend exactly 7 days after.