Her: I'm not going to the workout class this morning
Me: Honestly I really don't want to go. So tired. *drags limp body to coffee pot and pours coffee into mouth*
Her: You shouldn't go too!
Me: Oh god I do naaaatttttttttt want to go hahaha I have nothing to wear *cries into pillow* #firstworldproblems
Her: Can you pass me the blanket?
Me: Oh ya sure, are you cold?
Her: No I just want the cat to come sit on my lap
Me: He keeps coming to me. Probably because I don't love all cats
Her: That's so true! Cats always want the one that doesn't want them!
Me: Haha! Just like men!
Her: I didn't like Titanic. It wasn't romantic that he let himself drown
Me: It was sad! I was 12 or something!
Middle aged guy(teasing me): Wow, you just dated yourself
Older guy: I was 12 when it sank!
Me: You are totally going to catch the bouquet because you are feisty!
Her: Haha! No I'm always a bridesmaid, never a bride!
Me: Never say never! (mischievous grin) Justin Beiber said that! And he's a wise man haha
Her: I'm a beleiber!
Him: Hey gorgeous! How are you feeling?
Me: Good! Great day! Having an allergic reaction to something though and my ear is twice as big as it should be
Him: Oooo, that's not good
Me: It will be ok. Ooo! Haha! I meant to text you and say it's like Pinocchio but my ear instead of my nose!
Him: From hearing things that aren't true!
Him: Oooo can I look?
Me: Ya sure
*he opens my closet*
Her: OMG I love this jacket!
Me: Aw thanks! I got it in England. It was my special thing when I lived there
Her: You lived in England?!
Him(smiling): This b**** has been everywhere!
*I frolic over to him while he's cooking eggs and give him a bear hug*
Me: I'm a little drunk. First drink in 5 weeks! I had a glass of wine on my non-date-date
Him: Haha nice!
Me: My stomach and my cheeks got all warm like when you have never had alcohol before
Me: So I am going to my besties wedding next week! I'm soooooo stoked! Can't wait for the bachelorette party! It's going to be *aaaaamazinggggg*!!!
Me: I haven't had a drink in like....4....almost 5 weeks
Him: Haha oh ya! You have been green juicing! You are going to absorb it all! Oh man hahaha!
Me: I am going to have like one glass of champagne and be waaaaaaasted
Me: Did I tell you I'm going to Montreal again?!!!
Me: Get drunk! Make out with hot girls! Dance all night!
Him: I want to come!
Me: You would make an excellent wingman!
Him: I don't want to be a wingman! I want to make out with hot girls!
Me: I was going to say, "I only know lesbians" but that's actually not true. They are like, "I'm French. I do whatever the f*** I want!"
My blog hit 100,000 hits tonight and it's been less than a year since I came out of the closet, started writing, and opened my life up to.....the whole world hahaha thanks for following me and all the love!
I never imagined it would get this big....life is full of surprises!
My fashionable lesbian friend: I never wear plaid
Me: Me either!
Innocent straight girl: Whaaa? That's weird. It's so trendy!
*lesbian friend and I exchange knowing glances*
Lesbian friend(grinning): It means something else when we wear it!
Me: I'm wearing this long pink dress to the wedding. I was going to wear the green one but I think it's too slutty.
Her: Green one?
Me: Really tight and like *cat/tigress motions in the air*
Her: Ohhhh ya I know that one. I like the lace one!
Me: Lace one? OH! THE lace one!
Me: Hahaha I can't wear that to a wedding! That dress is like *I throw my hands up in the air*, "I'M SINGLE!!!"
Me: Are you vegan now? I've never seen you eat meat.....only cheese haha and fries
Him: I'm meatatarian
Me: Haha seems legit. That's what I heard on the street. You minx.
Him:I don't want any vegetables harmed