Saturday, July 25, 2015

special delivery

-texting the girl I'm dating-

Me: What's your address?
*she sends it to me*
Me: I'm going to glue a stamp to my forehead and go sit on a mailbox


*9am Saturday morning*

Giant car crash outside my apartment. Smashed car flipped on it's side.
And also, an elderly man wearing jeans, a pink tutu, and house slippers. 
I like his style haha

goes around comes around

Found a wallet full of money in a basket at Superstore. 
I guess I could have kept the cash. 
But who can afford that kind of karma.

Friday, July 24, 2015

#fashiondesignerlife haha

(heart emoticon)
Enjoying long romantic walks to the colour printer

Wednesday, July 22, 2015

Dear diary

Today I made her laugh so hard water went up her nose
I win.

Don't get old

*talking with my police officer friend*

Her: I pulled over an 85 year old man speeding today. Didn't ticket him because he was cute and had the best excuse haha
Me: What excuse?
Her: "Sorry I wasn't paying attention, sometimes I drive fast because I'm so god damn slow at everything else. Don't get old"


Monday, July 20, 2015

dirty laundry

Her: I accidentally brought your shirt home. Do you wash it any special way or can it go in the dryer?
Me: Oh all good. Cold wash hang to dry. Feel free to wear it or put it on your dog or use it as a cape when you are drunk.
Her: Haha, third option for sure
Me: I'm glad you are using my shirt as a cape. I'm using yours as a pillow. #creepy #itsmellsdifferentthanwhenyouwereasleep haha
Her: Bahahahahaha you're the greatest haha

Turkey Baster Baby, Camp Rainbow, and GF(?)

Approximately 1 gajilllion years ago (when I was 12) I went to a leadership summer camp called Camp Rainbow. It had that fortunate/unfortunate name for only my first year of going there and then gay people stole the rainbow(muuuuaaaaahhahaaaaaaa) and the camp was re-named. It was never a gay camp but of course even more ironically a bunch of us turned out to be gay. Ha! (And you say God doesn't have a sense of humour!) The camp is all about positivity, and self-awareness, and community and is actually still running today!

It was the best. Right up there in ranking with waking up beside my girlfriend(?). *sidenote*Not sure if she is my "girlfriend" and honestly not overly concerned about the terminology(cause you know, queer folk just love love love labels. Can't get enough of them... 

(ahhhh the pressure!) 
(Like buying a box of 12 mangoes at Costco)
 *collapses dramatically onto box and starts crying*

I mean, she is a girl. And my friend. 
I'm pretty sure based on the amount of texting that goes on between us that it's impossible either of us are dating other people and if she was dating someone else also I wouldn't even be mad. That's just impressive! How do you type that fast and remember all the things we talk about?!
And I hold her hand in public. 
And take her home to meet my parents. 
And she sends me flowers at work. 
So whatever that classifies us as, that's what we are.
We haven't conglomerated our names together like Brangelina yet and so I did not supply barf bags for this entry for those allergic to the sicky sweetness of new couples. 
Anyways, one of my camp counselors her name was Sara Hyde.(This is probably the third time ever in my blogging history I am using a friend's real name! Sacrilege!). She is also a lesbian and married to a layydayyyy aaaand just got pregnant with a self proclaimed, "Turkey Baster Baby".
Her blog is the absolute funniest.
She makes me cry from laughing so hard.
Check it out here:
Likers gonna like.

Thursday, July 16, 2015

Montreal trip 2015!!!!

All of my favourite clothes(leather pants, cat shirt, tribal wedge heels) seem to have suddenly fallen apart/developed holes at the exact same time.
This clearly means one thing: Annual trip to Montreal is soon!
Let's do this.

8th wonder of the world

I imagine the centre of the Earth is made entirely of lost socks, bobby pins, and glow in the dark dog balls that were used during the daytime. 
Where do they all go?!


Her: Well, it would be easier if we were married
Me: Hmmm.....will you marry me? Problem solved!
Her: Yes! Hahaha typical lesbians!


Him: I have been binge watching Orange Is The New Black!
Me: Ohhhh so good!
Him: This show has me feeling like.....most women are lesbians? Partially?
Me: welllll...... more like tourists.

Also know as the "hasbian"

Sunday, July 12, 2015

Started from the lettuce, now you here

Me: Oh maaaan! I'm so proud of you! Your first job in your field! No more working at Subway!
*we high five*
Her(beaming): Started from the bottom now I'm here!
Me: Started from the lettuce now you here!
Her: Haha! I'm going to get my first pay cheque all in loonies and then we can make it rain!
Me: Hahaha yes!! ...might be painful....prob still worth it

it's harder to make it rain ones in Canada  

ball so hard

Weirdly delicious breakfast of organic lettuce, dark chocolate, and strawberries.....ball so hard. 


so today I realized my dog thinks Dude is her name

Saturday, July 11, 2015

Flat Foot Active Barbie

Hey fitsters!
Have you read about the new Barbie with FLAT FEET?
That's right! They have released her into the big bad world.
After the "Barbie Engineer" debacle this has earned them some feminism street cred.
Good job Mattel.

Thursday, July 9, 2015

Top 7 Awkward Lesbian Questions I Get Asked

1. How do you have sex?
Like this, kids.
be safe
2. Can I watch?
 3. *The ex-boyfriend question* Did I turn you gay?
(I'm jooooking, only Shane Mccutcheon can do that)
 4. Who is the man?

...maybe that guy over there in the scarf is the man? Or Brad Pitt....he seems like he's a man.....
haha the only thing I'm 100% certain of is that neither of us are men
5. You don't look like a lesbian.
.....and I mistook you for a gentle-hombre.
6. Why do lesbians love cats?
I actually know lots of lesbians who love dogs.
7. Are you hitting on me?
Are you a lesbian? 
Are you hot? 
Then yes, it's possible.

Painting again

Been doing a bit of art these days:)
Here's a new one
More at

curly hair facts of life

meet the parents

Me: Soooo it's not a u-haul buuuuuut on our fourth date you get to meet my entire family. We are sooooo gay haha!
Her: Hahaha so gay.
Me: Thanks for booking the flights babe. I can't wait to see you again
Her: I figured most lesbians take trips together on thier fourth or fifth date haha

Sunday, July 5, 2015

what's cooking

Her: What's your baking specialty?
Me: I like making cookies
Her: That's weird I like eating cookies...haha
Me: That's convenient! ....maybe we should date
Her: Probably should, it only makes sense


This weather is caaarrrraaazaayyyyyy.
It's super hot, humid, smoky, no rain, and there is lightning.

Miley Cyrus dating Stella Maxwell

Reading the news today was depressing.
But then I saw Miley Cyrus dating Victoria Secret model Stella Maxwell and it vastly improved.

Thursday, July 2, 2015

shy girl

Her: I am pretty shy
Me: You don't seem that shy
Her: Oh I am. 
Me:.....I'm like 5% suuuuper shy. And 95% not giving a single f***.

pissing off conservatives 101

*walking down a crowded street holding her hand*

Her: We are like a walking poster for diversity
Me: Hmm?
Her: In front of us is a biracial couple and (gesturing to us) then there are two lesbians
Me: Haha! I like it.

Wednesday, July 1, 2015

Canada Day

Saw a bear!