So I was supposed to be in New York for work right meow
(because I have the greatest job ever ever ever!)
and New York is in a total state of panic right now
because of this epic snowstorm which is going to be the worst in history
(not even a hyperbole, thats what the meteorologists say)
anyways, my Mom texted me today and was like
"You know, you actually have a guardian angel haha you always narrowly escape disaster"
She is 100% right about that.
...like the time I accidentally rented an apartment in the LA ghetto
(they said there was a park...on google it has a rowboat on it.....they didn't mention is was a crack-park, ok?)
and my landlord turned out to be a big time porn director
and the poet upstairs started leaving creepy poems under my door at 3am
and there were cockroaches
and I almost got abducted by a truck full of scary men
but I ran and hid behind a house
or the time in New York when my roommate got antibiotic resistant flesh eating disease
I'm not even making this stuff up you guys haha
so, whatever/whoever keeps saving me.....
This is for you:
(please ignore my adam's apple....meh.)