Thursday, February 26, 2015

If I die

1. Smash my computer. And phone. Please God.
2. Whoever ate the box of cookies and blamed me when I was four
ADMIT IT ALREADY
It wasn't me. I'm dead. I would tell you by now.
3. Sister, I did eat the head off your Easter Bunny though when I was 5. Sorry about that.
4. I want you all to know....(big breathe) I'm a lesbian.
 Oh s***, you already knew that.
Neeeevermiiiiiind
5. Mom, please don't open my dresser. Just light it on fire.
6. I demand everyone wear pink to my funeral and drink wine.
I had a good time! So should you.
7. There is an envelope of skill testing questions about my dog taped to the bottom of my bed. Whoever gets the most right gets to have her.
.....ok so I may have thrown in some Taylor Swift Trivia also....
8. If you bury me in pants, I will haunt you.
9. Brother, thanks for letting me nap on your shoulder in the car during my childhood. You rule.
10. Dad, "That's all she wrote!"

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