Friday, April 4, 2014


According to Greek mythology humans were originally created with 4 arms, 4 legs, and a head with 2 faces. Fearing their power Zeus split them into two separate parts, condemning them to spend their lives in search of their other halves. I think Zeus split me into a labradoodle and a human by accident when he was drunk one night. 

Three years ago I tried dating on Plenty Of Fish and eventually gave up and got a dog instead. Ironically, a week after I "gave up" and got a dog I ended up in a long term relationship. I looked on Kajiji and found this add for puppies for $350. That is super cheap for a labradoodle because they are (supposed to be) hypoallergenic and they are a "designer" mix of a labrador and a poodle. So I gave the guy a call. He said she would grow to be about 30lb and wouldn't shed. He kept asking me what time I would be arriving at his house because he wanted to give her a bath first. Should have been my first clue of the weirdness to come. But no. Onward I went, of course. Because I am Brandy.

I arrived on his farm somewhere outside Lethbridge in a field beside another field and closeish to some more fields. This man with the world's worst comb-over hairdo comes out of the house. Should have been clue number 2 that I was about to purchase a 50 pound dog that sheds like a hair blizzard. He went and got her and put her in my arms. She was warm and damp. My black t-shirt was COVERED in dog hair. She looked up at me like, "PLEASE DON'T LEAVE ME HERE WITH THIS CREEPY DUDE!"
So I took her home. 
He said I could take her that night and pay him later and that she was the last puppy of the batch to leave....riiiiiiight. Seriously, I am pretty sure she is a Mexican street dog that he found somewhere. She is probably a terrier or a wolf-hound mutt.  

The first year was insane. She did her thing- traumatizing me by peeing in the elevator, eating a GIANT hole in my wall(how did such a tiny dog make such a HUGE hole?!?!?), chewing all the base boards, tearing the carpet up, crying every single night while I tried kennel training her. Now that she is a three year old adult I can say with immense joy that all she does is sleep and ask for belly rubs. It was like one day she was purely satanic and wanted to ruin my home and the next she was like, "Belly scratch??" That day was the best day of my life lol thanks Zeus

She is the goofiest, sweetest dog ever now. She has giant old-man eyebrows. All of her frizz fell out except for a natural frizzy mohawk perfectly placed on her head.

Good things sometimes come from strange places.
Here is a pic of her from the first week I brought her home. Those eyes. 

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